The Depths of Love and Pain
by Avery Dawnhale
Summary: After the war, nothing is as it seems. Harry had told himself many times that Hermione was dead. That she was a cold and lifeless corpse. He did not know why his body, his mind, his heart could not grasp this.


**The Depths of Love and Pain**

The rain was pouring hard on the pavement. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, had no protection from the raging storm. He was standing upright, his head bent down to read the carvings on the stone. He had read it so many times that it would forever be written on his brain.

_Here lies Severus Snape and Hermione Granger_

_The one who fought bravely_

_The one who knew love the most_

It was only Harry now; everyone else had left hours ago. He didn't feel sad, nor did he feel angry that Hermione left him -_them_- so soon.

He felt numb.

Harry had told himself many times that Hermione was dead. That she was a cold and lifeless corpse. He did not know why his body, his mind, his heart could not grasp this.

The rain drenched his body, his robes, his hair, his face. It was all wet. These were the tears that Harry could not shed.

His hands clenched and he closed his eyes, frustrated. How he wanted Hermione to be here again. To tell him that it was bad to get wet in the rain and bad to keep your emotions bottled up. He wanted it more than he wanted breathing. He wanted to hear her voice, sometimes bossy but most of the time loving and caring.

The trees were swaying with the wind, the clouds were black, and the flowers and grass were dead.

_Why did this have to happen?_

The lightning roared as the man who vanquished the Dark Lord went to his knees and punched the soil beneath him. He screamed - in frustration, in anger, in grief. Harry did not know.

His robes were wrapped his lanky, cold body. The wind was unforgiving, howling as though in pain.

Just like him.

He squinted, trying to blink away the drops of water that fell into his eyes. Maybe...maybe if he hadn't disobey Snape. Maybe if Harry had just listened to him.

Maybe Hermione would still be alive.

He sobbed, though no tears came out of his eyes. It was getting harder to produce tears for Harry. He had cried them all during the War.

There were no tears left for Hermione.

Harry imagined he could see the look on Snape and Hermione's faces as they knew they were about to die. The memory was merciless.

* * *

It was Friday. The wind was a bit chilly, the moon shone brightly, there were no clouds in sight and there was a full view of the sparkling stars. How Harry would love to go ride his Firebolt up in the sky and be closer to the stars. But Harry had other things to do. He had to go and visit his friend, Hermione, and ask how she was going on with that cure for the Cruciatus Curse.

Once Hermione had graduated from Hogwarts with the highest marks in wizarding history, she had immediately sought out Snape to help her find a cure for the Cruciatus Curse. Finding the cure took them a year and a half, During that time Hermione also became a Spells Mistress. She had taken her test at the Ministry of Magic, naturally getting marks so high that she would never be rejected for a job.

Harry apparated on to an empty alley near Spinner's End and regained his balance before walking to the familiar old brick house on the corner of the street. He seriously didn't know why Snape had chosen to resign as a professor at Hogwarts.

Harry would immediately accept if someone asked him to be a professor at the prestigious school. Not only would it mean that Harry could have large quarters and a peaceful place to live in, but it would also mean that no one from _The Daily Prophet _would be able to trap him in a corner of The Leaky Cauldron and demand answers to their questions. Harry could live a quiet life full of blabbering students, large (and clean) quarters, and excellent food from the house elves.

But Harry wasn't asked by the Headmistress to be a professor at Hogwarts, while Snape was asked countless times.

Harry finally reached his destination. The window was with a covered with a curtain and shining with bright light. He knocked three times on the old wooden door and waited. He could hear shuffling, voices and footsteps before the door opened to reveal Severus Snape, who had a rare smile on his face. It only lasted for two seconds before Snape's face turned into his familiar scowl. It was almost too fast for Harry to even process the idea of Snape smiling, but Harry had seen it.

"Potter, I am assuming that you are here to check on Hermione?"

Harry fidgeted. He always hated Snape calling Hermione by her first name. It felt...weird.

"Yes, I am," Harry replied curtly. Harry knew that Hermione and Snape had something going on, since he had been Hermione's best friend for who knows how long.

"Harry, how nice to see you again!" Harry felt Hermione hugging him and saying things too fast and quick to comprehend. He saw Snape sneer and fact that he still could annoy Snape made his day.

"Hallo, 'Mione." He patted her back and hugged her for a few seconds before pulling back. "Care to invite me in?"

"Of course! Have a seat, Harry." She pointed to the old, used couch on the sitting room. "What would you like - tea? Wine? Butterbeer?"

"Tea would be great," Harry replied as he sat down. Looking around, Harry saw that the house looked more jubilant than the last time he had seen it, in Snape's memories. There were books scattered everywhere. Harry leaned into the table on front of the couch to see spell books, journals and other rubbish lying around. He saw Hermione's writing and grabbed the book out of curiosity.

It was Hermione's journal.

* * *

_Cruciatus Curse Potion Number 109:_

_Ingredients:_

_4 drops of Syrup Hellbore_

_1 pint of Unicorn Blood_

_1 Moonstone_

_2 pints Dragon Blood_

_3 Porcupine Quills_

_2 Aconites_

_4 Snake Fangs_

_1 Asphodel_

_1 Sloth Brain_

_1.) Using the pestle, crush the moonstone with 3 Porcupine Quills until it turns into a fine powder._

_2.) Put 5 measures of the joined Porcupine Quill and Moonstone into the cauldron._

_3.) Add the pint of Unicorn Blood to_ _the cauldron._

_4.) After 15 minutes. add 4 drops of Syrup Hellbore._

_5.) Add the Asphodel and the Sloth Brain. Stir the cauldron counter-clockwise 10 times and clockwise 3 times._

_6.) Crush the Snake Fangs into fine powder using the pestle. Add it to the cauldron._

_7.) Add the 2 Aconites._

_8.) Stir 10 times clockwise, 7 times counterclockwise._

_9..) Use your wand._

_The potion, having some of the ingredients of the Draught of Living Death, if drunk should make the victim_ _unconscious immediately to make sure that it has worked. After a minute, the aconites_ _will spread through the body. Some of the ingredients that are_ _in the potion, that are_ _also used in the Draught of Living Death, should fight it off, causing the body to wake up almost_ _immediately. The victim_ _would feel nothing because of the Unicorn Blood in the potion_ _and will therefore not feel the pain raging in the victim's_ _body. After fifteen minutes or so, the potion will spread throughout_ _the body and the effects of the Cruciatus Curse will be gone from the body and the mind._

* * *

"What do you think?" Harry whipped his head to look at Hermione, who was smiling and holding two cups of tea in her hands.

"The potion is confusing and very complicated to make," said Harry, taking a sip of his tea. Snape was nowhere to be found.

Hermione smiled a little, looking at her cup. "What do you expect Harry? It's the cure for the Cruciatus Curse. Of course it's complicated."

"Why do you need some of the ingredients for the Draught of Living Death to make the cure? And where in Merlin's beard did you get Unicorn Blood?"

"Severus has his sources. As for the ingredients in the potion, those ingredients used in the Draught of Living Death are essential for the cure. That much we figured out."

Hermione drank from her cup and continued talking, "If you had been paying attention to Potions during your sixth year, The Draught of Living Death won't kill you. It will only make you sleep eternally, making the body shut down and the mind unresponsive. The Cruciatus Curse does not really affect the body that much. It's the mind that's the problem. Crucio has such a strong effect on the mind, causing the nerve endings to go haywire. That's why minds of Crucio victims are greatly damaged if they are subjected to the curse for too long."

"Will it cure Neville's parents?" Harry asked quietly. He refused to meet Hermione's eyes.

"It might," she said simply.

The hidden door set in the wall of books opened and revealed Snape, who took a seat at Hermione's side. Harry pretended not to care by taking a sip from his tea.

"Hermione has also been making a blocking spell for the curse though it has been proving to be quite difficult," Snape said, his voice monotone. It was clear by the sound of his voice that he hadn't been using that tone for almost a year. It made Harry think of Snape talking to Hermione in a soft, loving voice. He mentally shook his head, getting rid of those thoughts. It would forever haunt him.

Harry heard Hermione laugh and saw her touch Snape's arm lightly. "It is not! I have proven many times that my blocking spell works when you're not there intimidating me!"

Snape rolled his eyes. "And you are simply admitting that you're still intimidated by me, even though you told me many times that you are not." Snape looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Hermione looked away and flushed.

Harry found this conversation highly amusing. He never saw Snape as an equal. It would always be a hated-student-in-his-class and hated- professor-of-all-time relationship for both of them. It was the only thing that both he and Snape agreed on.

Everything was going alright until they felt the house move. In his peripheral vision, he saw the moonlight shine on the window and a wizard or, possibly, even a witch with midnight black robes staring at the house. Harry immediately stood up and Hermione and Snape did too.

Wands ready, they waited until the house stopped shaking.

As a highly acclaimed Auror, Harry knew the dangers still present in the Wizarding World. There were still Death Eaters waiting for revenge. Not all of them were locked up in Azkaban and not all of them had decided to forgive and forget.

"Hermione, go and stand on the side. Snape, near the kitchen. I'll walk to the front door."

Harry felt Hermione look at him. She gulped, holding her wand tightly on her hand she moved to the assigned position. Snape followed. Harry quietly walked to the front door.

He could almost feel them. The house, once warm and jovial, was now cold and dark. The silence stretched out like a fiery snake waiting to strike.

Harry could hear quiet footsteps outside. Gripping his wand tighter, he positioned himself in a battle stance. There were whispers and shuffling steps. The lights had gone off and the house was only lit with the help of the moon light. But, since there were only a few windows, it was almost completely dark.

The door opened so quickly and quietly that Harry did not even think when he casted the Stinging Spell at the unknown intruder.

The intruder fell to the ground, his hands on his face. He was moaning and groaning. He heard Hermione shout _Sectumsempra _and heard a whooshing sound before a groan. Out the corner of his eye he saw Snape firing a hex.

The ground shook again and this time it kept on shaking. Harry held onto one of the couches in the sitting room, his wand still poised to attack.

"Hermione, go upstairs and activate the emergency charm! It will inform the Aurors at the Ministry! Go!" Snape ordered.

Hermione rushed and opened the hidden door. Harry did not have time to see if she was safely inside. There were two Death Eaters (beaten by Hermione and Snape) that were unconscious, their faces stuck facedown on the ground and their wands lying uselessly on the cold hard floor. The Death Eater that had faced the Stinging Hex was moving backwards towards the front door, all the while his wand was poised, waiting to strike.

With a big bang that could be heard miles away, the front of the house was destroyed. Apparently these Death Eaters were going for the kill. _They're doing it so recklessly_, Harry thought. There stood the Lestrange brothers. Rabastan, who stood on Harry's right, was smiling at him. The moonlight showed that he had an ugly scar on his face. While Rodolphus, who looked skinny and beaten, had his wand trained on Harry.

He could hear screams and spells being thrown upstairs. Harry immediately worried for Hermione's safety, who was fighting alone.

"Tsk, tsk," Harry heard Rabastan say. He was looking at the two unconscious Death Eaters. "Knew Goyle and Jugson were useless."

The Death Eater, who Harry had gotten with the Stinging Hex, cast a spell towards Harry and Snape, who, in turn, blocked it. Harry could still hear shouts upstairs.

"Yes. Yes. Vanicia is upstairs playing with the Mudblood. And we three, Rodulphus, Avery, and I are gonna have some fun with you."

Rabastan growled and cast a spell. Snape moved to the sitting room firing defensive spells and hexes. Snape's house was full of flashing colored lights and shouts as incantations and spells were used.

Harry ducked and sent a hex to Avery, who dodged it but not fast enough because he tried to dodge it but was thrown backwards into the wall. Avery kept firing though, his spell work and incantations growing more difficult and powerful.

Harry and Snape did every hex, every jinx, and every spell to stop them from gaining advantage, but it was no use. They were doomed. Their eyes looked half-crazed and hungry. Harry knew that they were far from a human by now.

Harry and Snape kept firing. Harry, with a stroke of luck and Auror training, was still fighting three Death Eaters at the same time, along with Snape.

It was becoming too hard because the ground wouldn't stop shaking. Harry's spell didn't cast perfectly. The jinx that was supposed to hit Rodulphus went to Snape instead, who had barely enough time to dodge it. Avery came and charged at Harry, while Rabastan charged at Snape. It was a fierce battle. Incantations, wands moving, spells flying.

And then, with a sickening _crack_, the house was split in half.

Harry hoped desperately that Hermione had turned on the emergency charm so that the Aurors knew something had happened. They needed to come soon, because the house and its inhabitants were not in a very good condition.

"They cast – _Diffindo! - _a powerful curse – _Impedimenta! - _on the house! We have to – oof! _Petrificus Totalus! - _get out of here! Potter! GET HERMIONE OUT OF HERE NOW!" Snape roared at Harry, while fighting both Avery and Rabastan. Harry glanced at Snape for a few seconds. Snape's eyes were desperate and pleading. Snape wanted Hermione out of the house, _now._

"WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Harry shouted in the midst of all the destruction. He, ever a Gryffindor, would not allow Snape to be left all alone facing three powerful ex-Death Eaters.

"GO! I'LL BE ABLE TO HOLD THEM BACK FOR A LITTLE LONGER! GET HERMIONE OUT OF HERE, POTTER! OUT!"

Harry stopped to ponder this for a moment. Before cursing and going up the stairs to find Hermione bleeding and throwing spells at a dark skinned woman that was probably Vanicia.

"_Flipendo!" _cast Hermione. Vanicia was pushed backwards to the wall.

"_Immobulus!" _said Vanicia with a large, booming voice. Harry thanked Merlin that Hermione had been able to block it.

The house groaned and Harry knew that they were running out of time.

"HERMIONE! WE HAVE TO GO. THE HOUSE IS BREAKING APART! COME ON! COME ON!" Harry shouted while swaying. He saw Hermione, who was still fighting like it was The Final Battle, with unshed tears in her eyes. He almost knew what Hermione was feeling now.

This house is where she had found herself. This house is where she shared memories, maybe even happy memories, Harry thought. This is the house where she had found joy.

And it was breaking apart.

"_Stupefy!"_

Hermione gasped before she fell to the ground with a big thud. Harry saw blood pool out of Hermione's head. Oh no.

"HERMIONE! HERMIONE! LET'S GO! _NO! AVIS!" _He saw Vanicia cast a _Reducto _spell to Hermione as the birds flew out of Harry's wand blocking the spell. A slash had hit Hermione's cheek still.

"_Conjunctivitis!" _Harry turned his wand to the Death Eater, making her scream and fall to the ground clutching her eyes.

"_Rennervate!" _shouted Harry. Pointing his wand at Hermione. He could hear screams, mutterings of voices in the distance that were probably Aurors, and a different kinds of light produced by spells.

The upper floor cracked, the wood groaning and spliting before lying silent once more. Harry had to jump the gap to get to Hermione.

It would be miracle if they got out of the house. He saw Hermione clutch her left hand, closing her eyes. A teardrop fell out of her eye. Harry clutched Hermione's body close to him.

He didn't know it was going to end like this.

Then he saw a glittering jewel on Hermione's left hand.

An engagement ring.

_She was engaged to_ _Snape._

He looked at a bloodied Hermione and the ring on her finger. Harry wondered if Snape was still alive. He shook his head, there was no time. They had to go.

"COME ON!" He literally dragged Hermione to the door.

He heard Vanicia grab for her wand in time when ceiling fell down in front of the door,completely blocking their path to safety. The only way to get out of the house now was to jump out of the window, which Vanicia was blocking with everything she had.

Harry cast a jinx, as Hermione cast _Wingardium Leviosa _to the pieces of stone blocking the door.

"What are you doing, 'Mione?" asked Harry who was duelling with Vanicia with such intensity that the ground shook and they looked like they were floating.

"Severus! Severus is down there! I have to go! I have to go, Harry!" The desperation was clear in her voice. Harry looked at her, her eyes begging for him to understand. For a few seconds, he thought about it and he knew that he couldn't stop Hermione going to Snape. He thought of himself and Ginny, and he knew what she was feeling. He grimly nodded.

"NO!" shouted Vanicia, casting a non-verbal spell towards Hermione which Harry blocked. "Da girle caznot go downstairz. Musht kill her _then _she can go downstaisz! I wonder whatz wille Snape thinkz?" Vanicia laughed that horrifying laugh that sounded so much like Voldemort's laugh. Harry shivered.

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BITCH!" screamed Hermione, growing more desperate by the minute.

Vanicia laughed again. "Hmmm...I wonder if Snape ish dead nowh? He caznot fight three Deatz – Eaterz all by himselz."

Hermione screamed at her. Her eyes were a shocking black and her hair seemed bushier than before. "Suffer you immigrant bitch who can't speak proper English! _Crucio!"_

Harry saw with his own eyes as Hermione cast an Unforgivable Curse towards the Death Eater, she looked so desperate. He saw her go down and scream and the whole ground shook more forcefully than before.

Hermione released it after a few seconds. "Harry, use the Stunning Spell on her. Now!"

"Why?"

"You can't fight her anymore. The whole house is going to be sucked up in a minute! DO IT NOW!"

Without even thinking Harry stupified the screaming Vanicia. Her eyes bulged open for a few seconds before her body turned stiff and she didn't move anymore. Harry almost thought she was dead.

"Go Harry..." whispered Hermione, with her hands she removed the stone blocking the door towards downstairs. "Go now. Go back to Ginny. Go back to your family. Go."

He saw Hermione's eyes pool with tears. Harry couldn't believe this. Hermione could live, she could, but no.

No.

She chose to die with Snape.

He begged for Hermione to look him in the eye. He wanted to see it for himself.

"Hermione -" Harry began. She stopped moving the stones and looked at him. Her hair bushy, her nose red, her cheeks bloodied, and her eyes pleading for him to go. To save himself.

"Do you really? Do you really love him?"

He saw Hermione relax, her eyes melting into chocolate orbs, the warmth in those eyes. He knew that feeling better than anyone.

Hermione loved Snape – Severus.

There were shouts downstairs. Harry heard Snape's familiar cold, calculating voice and he knew that Snape was still fighting.

Still fighting to get Hermione out.

Harry wondered idly if Snape knew that Hermione was still in the crumbling house. He didn't want to know. He looked at Hermione's finger where the engagement ring was.

Harry felt hot tears drop to the ground.

"Be-be careful, 'Mione. I-I love you," Harry choked out.

"I love you too, Harry. Now go."

* * *

Harry could never forget how he left the house, crying out for Hermione and- dare he say it – Snape. Begging them to be alive. Even though he saw with his own eyes how they were killed.

Harry stopped a sad smile from forming.

They had died in battle.

Both hit by the Killing Curse. They had fallen before the house had.

The last second he had seen them alive, Snape hugged Hermione, lifting her from the ground, and whispering in her ear. And Harry had seen Hermione, her face grateful and content.

Harry knew they were both happy.

He looked at the sky. The clouds were beginning to go away and the light of the sun was starting to shine.

Wet and very cold, Harry grabbed his wand from under his robes, muttering a spell to add something in the carvings of the stone.

_Here lies Severus Snape and Hermione Granger-Snape_

_The one who fought bravely,_

_The one who knew love the most_

_And the one that survived more pain than anybody the Wizarding World knew_

Harry saw a small daisy opening.

And he knew everything was going to be alright.


End file.
